Last Day ....

*sobs* today marked the beginning of the school Hols for the secondary school that i worked in ... Talked to the principal and she told me that she might need me next year ... *cross fingers* ... Kinda miss my students ... although some of them are irritating .. there are all cute and special in their own ways ... heheh ... so i packed all my stuffs ... returned what supposed to be returned to the office .. said my goodbyes to some of the staffs ... didnt take any pics cos my camera decided to bail out on me *humf* ... anyways ... the kids got their report books today .. in my form class, 3 didnt make it to express stream next year .. the look on their faces was too much to bear ... if only i could help them but their average were low ..not good enough to be pulled up .. :( .. anyways i consoled them and told them that no matter what, they still have to try their best and don't give up or feel ashamed ... Surprisingly, that class, who was well known to be sarcastic and naughty, were quite well-behaved... when they knew 3 of their friends couldnt join them next year, they didnt jeer or whatever .. cos if anyone of them did, im gonna give them a good dressing down .. : ...

So when the school finished i lingered around in the staffroom to clear my stuffs and papers ... then there was one boy who looked for me .. he is the sweetest boy .. so well-behaved in class and so polite. So this 13 year old boy asked me if i could still teach them next year and how much he like me as his teacher *i nearly sob :P .. but must maintain* .. he was so persistent ... he asked me if its possible for me to ask the principal and request that i stay and teach them again ... sigh .. i told him that its not that easy. Teachers come and go. If he could remember what i taught him and the values and skills that came with it then i am happy....
before he left ... he passed me a bottle of cold lemon tea ... i was so touched .. i told him that i was fasting so i cant drink it .. he said sorry he forgot that it was the fasting month then told me to keep it and drink it when i break my fast ...

students like him make it harder for me to give up on my dream to be a teacher ... there were so many times in my journey to become one that i gave up ... and it was always the look on the students' faces when they grasped something that i taught .. when they understood what i said .. when they showed me that they want to prove that they could do better ...instances like these reinforces my belief that i AM cut out to be a teacher ... maybe i am just a victim of circumstances ... well i have 2 mths to contemplate on that .... as i will be bumming around at home and all .. so do i wait for next year and start relief teaching again and get into this whole cycle of uncertainty and not have a long term job but doing what i love to do .. or do i start finding other long term jobs now and erase my hopes to be a teacher *cos i was not given the chance* ... ????.... time is running out..... decisions decisions ...