Something To Share Part I....

Got this of the net, found it to be realistic .... I bold the phrases that I personally agreed with ... so read on if you have the time ...

Ps: As this is taken from the net directly, to go to the original site, Pls click on the title. Thanks :)

Two-timed Two Times

Dear Trish, About a year ago my boyfriend and I cheated on each other but then got back together. Now, he’s suddenly spending most of his free time with a woman from work. He bought her jewelry and is telling other people we broke up, while he continues to tell me he loves me and wants to be together. His mom thinks this is just a phase and wants me to stick it out. What should I do?

Sincerely,
Two-Timed

Dear Two-Timed,
It's not what your boyfriend says but does that should serve as the true testament of his love for you or lack thereof. Right now he's taking you for granted, denying you in front of others and dedicating much of his life energy, not to mention his gift-related financial resources, to another woman. He also appears to be stringing you along, hoping to keep you as his sexual safety net in the event he should lose his footing in the affair. Not much of a testament there.

Regardless of whether or not he is sleeping with his coworker, it’s likely he's already cheating on you, as infidelity has an emotional component as well as a physical one. The more time he spends with her, the more likely it is that he will reveal areas of his emotional life, or details regarding your relationship that you consider to be special things the two of you should share. At the same time he may begin to shut you out of these types of discussions. Sometimes, especially for women, this type of emotional betrayal can be more difficult to accept than sexual infidelity.

While we don’t know for sure that he’s sleeping with his woman friend, I think we can somewhat safely assume he is. To be absolutely sure, you’ll need to ask him. While it’s possible that there may be some spectacularly benign explanation for his behavior, generally speaking, if a man walks like an unfaithful boyfriend and talks like an unfaithful boyfriend, then it usually means that he is an unfaithful boyfriend.

Surprised? You shouldn’t be, as the two of you have already established a pattern in your relationship that these types of transgressions are likely to happen and will ultimately be forgiven. Despite how, and with whom, either of you misbehaved in the past, until now, the relationship has ultimately prevailed. At some point, if your boyfriend comes back to you with bouquets, apologies and promises of reform, you’ll need to decide if this unspoken agreement that all relationship transgressions are forgivable is still serving you. If you’re ready for real love and commitment and have left your own cheating days where they belong—forever in your past—the answer may be “no.”

Given that he's telling other people that you two broke up, I have serious doubts that he’s coming back at all or for anything more than some momentary, self-serving fun and frolicking. More importantly: Why would you even want him back? Often in life you end up getting what you settle for. Is this what you’re willing to settle for in a relationship?

There is a growing body of evidence suggesting that many men (and more and more women these days) are unfaithful in marriages, but this doesn’t in any way excuse or condone infidelity in any relationship. While some relationships and marriages do survive infidelity, when a partner is a repeat offender, demonstrating little remorse for his or her behavior or empathy for the pain the betrayed partner must experience as a result, the likelihood of the relationship surviving diminishes.

More than anything else, it’s the quality of our character, which is demonstrated not by what we say, but by our choices and behaviors, that makes us the people we are. In a recent Match.com survey, when we asked married men and women what one attribute most attracted them to their spouse, quality of character was the number one response.

To attract someone special, you’ll have to be someone special, and I suspect your real work ahead won’t be convincing your wandering boyfriend that he’ll be happiest at home with you. It will be coming to understand what drove your choice of boyfriends and behaviors in the past, conquering any lingering temptation to stay that course and ultimately redirecting your romantic activities and decisions moving forward. While affairs may seem mysterious and exciting at first glance, in my book there’s nothing sexier than an intimate promise, made lovingly to one special person, and kept true to, even in the face of alluring opportunity, tough times in the relationship or intermittent personal uncertainty.

Your boyfriend’s mother loves him, and it’s likely she recognizes how much you have to offer him, so I’m not surprised she’s encouraging you to stick this out. Your responsibility isn’t to her though, or even to him, it’s to yourself. Will you ever be able to trust your boyfriend? Is that important to you?

Even if his behavior is just a phase, it’s a phase that speaks to the quality of his character. If he hasn’t already checked out of your relationship, you’ll have to decide what you’re willing to settle for.