IrKsOmeNess

(I JuSt NeeD To LeT iT oUt)

With 33 periods (of 30 mins each) each week, I find it challenging just cos all the 33 periods are packed into 4 days (Mon, Tues, Wed and Fri). So on average, one day of normal lessons will be about 8 to 9 periods (in a 11 periods/day school curriculum). With Home Econs and Maths combination, I have to prepare lessons all the time cos most of the stuffs that I am supposed to teach are kinda relatively new to me or I need to revise some of the concepts again. I DON'T even have or given any resources from previous years. I was just given the textbooks and workbooks so I have to start from scratch.

So the week started off with a manic Monday, I was still bothered with what I was 'innocently coerced' to agree upon, the week before. After back to back classes, the school day ended with yet another back to back Maths remedials. Let's refer to the first remedial class as Class A and the second as Class B. I do not teach Class A at all but I am required to undertake their Maths remedial classes every Monday cos their own Maths teacher is busy (after she gave me many excuses). Since I really do pity the students who bothered to stay back (they finished a period earlier than the rest of the school cos of their stream) to attend my remedial, I relented. Since they finished a period earlier, I made them attend the remedial lesson first (right after my last lesson of the day) so my own Maths students (who are from Class B) had to actually wait one hour plus for me to finish with Class A. Making them wait for me was bad enough, the fact that they didn't complain at all made me feel bad. So starting from this week, I am surely gonna experience Monday Blues.

Tuesday and Wednesday went by fast and furious. I didn't even have time to mark my students' work books, homeworks, test papers and mind maps during school hours. I have to either stay back after school to mark or push all my markings to Thursday. Since I usually have to rush home after school as I have to feed my cat and teach my sis, I can't bring my work home during the weekdays as I don't have time at home to mark so I have to bank on Thursday (in school) to complete my work.

Thursday came. It was supposed to be my free day. I was all eager to begin work early in the morning, I was quite upset when the same Maths teacher came by and told me to take over her Maths class (my Class A remedial class) for that day as she realised, last minute, that she had to go to the doctor. As I was in a sucky kinda mood, (I don't do this usually) I told her straight to her face that I was busy and have lots of markings to complete. There are so many other RTs with a slacker timetable, why choose me? She was taken aback (cos like I mentioned before, I don't normally talk back or reject any request) but she persevered. She said no one else could handle the class and her students would rather have me. Plus, if it was me, her work would still be carried out. It seems that whatever I said at that point was of no use. She gave me the worksheet practice that I was supposed to teach her students. No answer key what so ever. Even though I had to relief the class on the second and third periods, I spent the whole of the first period to work out the Maths solution, refer to the textbook for the concepts that I have forgotten and rechecking my workings and answers. During the relief periods, her students complained a lot about her. I had to side with her nonetheless as I believe that no teachers should bad mouth each other in front of the students. After the relief periods, I had to spend yet another period to indicate to her (in writing) what questions I did with her students and rewrote the solutions neatly on one of the question paper. So basically, I spent the first half of the day doing stuffs that didn't lessen my OWN work. She came back during the 5th period and didn't even say a word to me. She looked alright when she came back. The funny thing is, if someone is not well and have to see the doctor immediately, shouldn't that person be resting at home after seeing the doc and not come back to school for the school photo taking? I just find it ironic.

To make it clear, I DON'T mind doing reliefs at all. I know that it is part and parcel of my job. I just find it irksome when people are not sensitive. I have my own work to finish (some given to me by other teachers who, I believe, are also shirking their responsibilities) I just hate it when they praise me and then dump more work on me. To be honest, I am paid about a third of what the full time teachers are paid. There are times I do feel that I am sorely shortchanging myself. I could have done better else where. Am I such a cheap and dispensable worker that I deserve to do more work? If I am given the same pay scale as the rest of the teachers, I will do all those work with open arms cos I know that I am duly compensated. Like I mentioned before, it is my interest in the job and the students that I am still hanging on. Like everyone else, I don't like to be taken advantage of. It makes me feel so useless and pathetic.

Anyway, the rest of my Thursday was filled with marking, setting test papers (for next week), finding students who missed the previous test and set Maths worksheets for the new topic that I am going to teach next week. I could only leave school at 4pm. Even though my work was not done yet, I have to go home after my sis called many times.

Friday was the same rollercoaster ride. I asked the Maths teacher how she was in the morning but she just brushed me off and gave me a half smile. I believe she was still sore that I spoke back to her the day before. Since I could feel that I was not wanted, I just walked off. I realised that I should not be too concern with how people feel about me. So for the whole day, I had only one free period where I practically sprinted to the canteen to buy food as I was so hungry. Since I had less than 10 minutes to eat, I had to gobble down the food before going up for my next class. I marked all the workbooks after school today. I was super sleepy that I dozed off several times. I just had to lug all of my students Maths file home for marking and checking of their worksheets before I return it to them next week. I don't like to keep work for long. As soon as I get it, I will try my best to get it done properly. I have to learn to take things slow. After all, I am not being appreciated. At the end of the day, I have my own health to answer to. Recent health reports have not been favourable. I guess I will be feeling under the weather soon. No matter what, I still have to keep up the cheery exterior cos life has to go on. The sad thing is, no one will wait for anyone nowadays.

I am sure my other friends are having a busy working life at this moment. I am also sure they do encounter such 'responsibility-shirkers' at their own workplace. However, do remember that you guys are paid much more than me ok *hahah* so hopefully you find comfort in knowing that there are people who are worse off. At least there are something for you guys to look forward to every month *ehehhe*. I am truly sorry for the long and boring entry. I just want to burst it out before I explode inside. There are more that I have not typed out. Too tired to do so tonight. Have a great weekend everyone. I need to cry myself to sleep. Tatatz