IrkSoMeNess PaRt II

Disclaimer: This is a super boring entry by me. Again, I just need to lash it all out so that I don't keep any negativity inside of me. I don't advocate verbal lashing so this is an entry whereby I can say whatever I want and not hurt anyone involved. Please skip this entry if you are having a bad week yourself because I would not wish my bad week to be compared to *hahaha* Whatever being typed here should NEVER be regurgitated elsewhere and to whoever. Thank You ........ :P

ARGH! I had a rough work week this week. I was arrowed early Monday morning at the parade square. My so-called teacher-mentor for Maths decided (on her own) that I should set the Maths CT Paper. The "best" part was, I had to get it done and printed before the week ended as the CT is supposedly scheduled the following Tuesday (after a school holiday on Monday) *gasps* She casually said that setting the CT paper will be an easy task for me. After telling me to set it at 30 marks and based on Sem 2 topics, she gave that "I-have-successfully-pushed-my-work-to-you-yaabeeedabeeduuu" kinda smile *grrrrr* Like I had said before, being my minute (super tiny) self (Obviously I am not talking about my size here), I reluctantly agreed. The remedial I had with Class A (remember Class A? The graduating class that I do not teach but have to conduct remedials for) on Monday was ok. Though I was tired from Monday's craziness, I do find them so utterly lovable as they are so willing to learn.

Tuesday and Wednesday went by too fast. At the end of both days, when I went home, I just collapsed on my bed and snoozed for a while. Thursday was eventful and I am still reeling from the guilt. Here's why. I was unwell since Sunday but I could not afford to be absent as my Homec classes are alternates. If I miss one group, I can only get to see them in two weeks time. I will be so behind schedule then. Unfortunately, by Wednesday, my voice was barely audible. I was coughing and my nose was runny. Plus, my migraine and diarrhoea were on the offensive again. My Homec head noticed that I was unwell so she advised me to stay home the following day (Thurs). Since I had to key in the tests scores in to the school's system by Thursday, I told her that I was Ok.

On Thursday, early in the morning, my Homec head messaged me and told me to rest at home. She told me to email the tests scores to her and she will key it in for me (as we are sharing the classes). I was so worried as I had many other stuffs to do in school, besides keying in the scores. I replied her message, informing her that I had to get the Maths CT paper done and send it for printing by that day. In addition to that, I have to mark 8 groups (about 21 workbooks per group) of workbooks plus mind maps for my Homec. I kept all my markings to Thursday as that is my free day and I am packed to the brim with classes on Mondays to Fridays. Luckily I had completed my markings for Maths.

When I reached school, she pulled me to one corner and asked me why do I have to set the CT paper. I told her that I have been setting the tests papers for Maths (Total of 3 papers) ever since Sem 2 started. She was shocked as she found it unfair that I had to do the work alone. I had to tell her that the actual arrangement was for me and my Maths teacher-mentor to set papers on alternate basis but she was too busy with other stuffs to do so. My Homec head was kinda upset that she talked to my Maths head (the one who dumped her remedial class on my lap). *sigh* As if that will make a big difference. My Maths head, maybe for drama sakes, exclaimed loudly that whatever arrangements that I have with my teacher-mentor is wrong. She told me not to set anymore tests for Maths from now on and insist that my teacher-mentor took over for Test 4 onwards. She said that if I didn't alert my Homec head, nobody would know that I have been doing the teacher-mentor's job. My Homec head retaliated by saying that I didn't alert her. She was the one who asked me as I was reluctant to say anything. Actually, I personally have no problems setting the papers. I am just worried that the papers might not be a fair assessment to the students since I am not trained.

Anyways, my Maths head finally blurted out to my Homec head that she gave me her remedial classes as she was busy and her students requested for me. My Homec head was quite pissed actually after hearing all that. Again, a few moments later, she pulled me to one side and interrogated me. She asked so many questions and told me to write down what other extra activities I had done for the Maths Dept. She told me that no wonder I was often sick recently as my workload has more than doubled compared to last semester. She told me that since I am paid for only 5.5 hrs of my time, I shouldn't be doing all this as it is unfair to me (recap: trained teachers are paid 3x of what I normally get). However, I feel that once I have given my word to conduct the remedials and etc, I will do it. I promised her that if I am not able to handle it in the future, I will tell her about it.

I sincerely don't want to break anyone's rice bowl. If I can do the job and I know I can do it well, I will accept it. I am feeling so guilty if both of my subject heads decided to reprimand the teacher-mentor. That is certainly NOT what I intended in the first place *sigh* I hope they will just forget about it and I will try not to entertain any extra work from the teacher-mentor in the future. I really DON'T like it at all when the workplace relationship is strained. I don't want to give the impression that I am stabbing someone's back *sigh* I was so bothered by the whole thing that when I was marking the workbooks, I was like a zombie. At the end of the school day, I managed to set the CT paper and send it for printing, keyed in my tests scores for the 9 classes that I teach and marked 4 groups of workbooks. I was feeling guilty as well when a colleague, who was very hungry at that moment in time, asked me to lunch. I was talking to my colleague and stapling the test papers in the books at the same time. I guessed I was so distracted and wanted to finish marking the remaining 4 piles of workbooks that my colleague gave up asking. I am still feeling so bad. Hope my colleague managed to eat a decent meal without me. Left school around 5 plus pm and took a cab home. The happenings of that day just shut my body down that I fell asleep at 9pm and woke up at 3am. After replying to Ida's smses and feeding JinJer, I went back to sleep again.

Friday was great. I decided to sleep in rather than attending the National Day celebrations in school. Not cos I don't want to go, but I was kinda embarrassed to attend when, the day before, two teachers told me relentlessly that I need not attend as the school would not pay me (as it is only 2 hours). I don't mind attending without being paid but I do mind attending to events whereby I am not invited or wanted. I still have my dignity left so I rolled on my bed, enjoying the morning chirpings of the birds outside my window sill *hehhee*.

I have to apologise to Ida for the constant change in timings as I have to accompany my mum here and there. Finally got to meet her at JEC to watch 'The Journey to the Center of the Earth'. It was really a pity that two of our friends couldn't join us. Even though the theatre seats were super sucky and crampy, the movie was good enough to engage us for the 1 hour plus that we were in there. A few sob scenes here and there. Lots of funny scenes too. Looking at the "electric blue bird" shaking its head was so cute that it reminded me of JinJer *hahah* I know Ida will hate me for typing this *muhahahha* Had supper at LJS with her and tried the Shrimpy thingy *hahah* It would be nicer if I just had LOTS of shrimps :P. Thanks a lot for your company gal :) and I do agree with your mum; that black blouse was really nice! *hehehe*

Have a great weekend peeps :) Stay Sane ... ... ... I am trying to :)

P/s: Gosh... why am I not sleepy yet?!??! :( ... Better log off now and lull myself to sleep before my eyebags go on a further rampage! Tatatz Tititz Tututz ....